Motivational Coaching Q&A: Getting Through The Holidays When Grief Still Hurts (Motivational Speech)

Are you trying to survive the holidays while carrying grief that still feels heavy years later—and wondering why it still hurts this much?

The holidays can be joyful—but for many, they are also painful. In this inspirational and motivational podcast episode, Reginald D answers a listener's question: “It's the holidays. I buried my mom three days before Christmas seven years ago, and the holidays haven't been the same since. How do I get through them when I'm overwhelmed with grief?”  Reginald D delivers a powerful motivational speech for anyone struggling to get through the holidays when grief still hurts. This episode slows everything down and creates space for honesty, healing, and emotional truth—without pressure to “move on” or “be strong.”

If you’re feeling overwhelmed by grief, loss, sadness, or emotional exhaustion during the holidays, this motivational and inspirational episode reminds you that healing is not rushed, grief is not a weakness, and survival itself is a victory. Through compassionate coaching, faith-centered encouragement, and practical emotional tools, Reginald D offers a motivational message that speaks directly to the heart of anyone missing a loved one during the holiday season.

 If you’ve ever felt pressure to smile, celebrate, or “be okay” during the holidays while grief quietly overwhelms you, this inspirational and motivational episode meets you exactly where you are. The holidays often magnify loss, loneliness, and emotional fatigue—making grief louder and harder to ignore.

You’ll hear reassurance that grief does not follow a timeline, that love doesn’t disappear with time, and that your emotions during the holidays are valid. This episode connects to a very real desire many people have right now: finding peace, emotional steadiness, and permission to feel what’s real—without shame.

Press play now to experience this inspirational motivational speech and receive the calm, clarity, and emotional strength you need to get through the holidays—one breath at a time.

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Transcript

Welcome to Real Talk With Reginald D's Motivational question and answer segment. I'm your host, Reginald D. Today we're going to discuss getting through the holidays when grief still hurts.

Today, I'm going to slow everything down.

There's no rush with this conversation.

No pressure to feel better,

no expectations to be strong,

upbeat or put together.

This episode isn't about height.

It's not about pushing through.

It's about sitting with what's real.

A listener wrote in and asked a question that I know so many people carry quietly,

especially around this time of year.

Before we get started, I would like to thank my listener for their question.

Now the question is.

Reginald D. It's the holidays.

I buried my mom three days before Christmas seven years ago,

and the holidays haven't been the same since.

How do I get through them when I'm overwhelmed with grief?

If that question feels familiar to you,

I want you to hear me clearly right now.

You're not weak,

you are not broken,

and you are not behind in your healing.

See, grief does not follow calendars,

and love doesn't disappear just because time passes.

The holidays have a way of reopening places in your heart.

We thought we had learned how to manage,

not because we failed to heal,

but because memory is powerful and love runs deep.

The truth is,

the holidays don't just bring joy.

They bring remembrance.

They bring empty chairs.

They bring moments where laughter feels incomplete because someone you love is there to share it.

They bring traditions that used to feel comforting but now feel heavy.

And where the loss happens close to the holidays,

those dates can feel permanently marked.

Seven years later, the pain still rise.

Not because you haven't grown,

but because love still lives there.

Grief during the holidays often feels overwhelming because everything is louder,

expectations are higher,

and your heart is already tired.

People expect you to show up,

to smile,

to participate,

and inside, you're just trying to breathe.

So let me say this. You do not need to get over your mom in order to get through the holidays.

What you actually need is permission.

Permission to grieve without guilt.

Ecclesiastes tells us there's a time to weep and a time to laugh. A time to mourn and a time to dance.

Some holidays are for laughter.

Some are for quiet survival.

Both are sacred.

Both are allowed.

One of the most damaging lies people tell themselves is this idea that because time has passed, the pain should be gone.

It's been long enough.

It should be better by now.

Let me correct that.

Grief doesn't aspire,

it evolves.

You don't grieve because you're stuck.

You grieve because you love deeply.

Even Jesus wept,

knowing resurrection was coming.

So if Jesus cried,

who told you that you had to hold it all together?

Healing doesn't mean you stop missing someone.

Healing means you learn how to carry your love without collapsing under the weight of loss.

And that takes time.

It takes intention,

and it takes compassion towards yourself,

especially during seasons like this.

So let's talk about getting through the holidays.

Not perfectly,

not bravely,

but honestly.

Sometimes getting through doesn't mean being cheerful,

attending everything,

or pretending you're okay.

Sometimes it simply means you ate something that day.

You rested when you could.

You said no when you needed to.

You survived,

and that counts.

You're allowed to redefine what the holidays look like for you now.

You're allowed to change traditions.

You're allowed to skip gatherings,

leave early,

celebrate differently,

or not celebrate at all.

Romans tells us that as much as it depends on us,

we should live at peace.

And that includes peace with ourselves.

You don't owe anyone the version of you that existed before. You lost something else that's important.

You don't have to erase your mom to make it through the season.

In fact, sometimes grief feels heavier because we try so hard not to feel it.

Instead of avoiding her memory,

you might try making space for her.

Light a candle,

say her name,

write her a letter,

talk to her out loud.

Love doesn't end.

It just learns how to speak differently.

When you talk to God during this season,

you feel like you have to be polite.

Prayer doesn't need polish.

God is close to the brokenhearted.

You can tell him you're angry,

that you're tired,

that you miss her.

You don't have to understand why this still hurts.

God can handle your truth.

He's not intimidated by your honesty.

Grief also lives in the body.

So when waves of emotion hit you unexpectedly and they will slow your breathing.

Place your hand on your chest.

Ground yourself in the present moment.

Remind yourself that you're not back then,

you're here now,

and you're safe.

The pain is real,

but it's not dangerous.

Now let's talk about something many people don't say out loud.

The guilt that can come with moving forward.

Some people feel like healing is a betrayal,

like laughing again means forgetting,

like joy means letting go.

But moving forward does not mean leaving your mom behind.

It means carrying her love in a new way.

You are allowed to laugh again.

You are allowed to feel moments of peace.

You are allowed to live fully.

God comforts us so that one day we can comfort others.

And your grief,

handled with care,

may one day become someone else's lifeline.

Let me also say this.

There have been moments in this holiday season where the grief catches you off guard.

In the grocery store,

in a song,

in a smell.

When that happens,

don't judge yourself.

Just breathe.

Grief moves in waves,

and it doesn't mean you're going backwards.

It means your heart remembers.

If everything feels heavy,

I want you to hear this right now.

You are not alone.

You are not weak.

And you're not doing grief wrong.

You survived something that shadowed you,

and you're still here.

That says everything about your strength.

It tells me that you're not looking for a quick fix.

You are looking for understanding.

You're looking for something that feels steady enough to hold you when emotion comes in waves.

So let's not rush this next part.

Grief has a way of resurfacing when the world tells you to celebrate.

When lights are brighter, music gets louder, and people are gathering,

grief doesn't whisper.

It speaks up.

Now, sometimes it asks questions that you don't have the answers to yet.

Questions like, why does it still hurt?

Why does the season still feel heavy?

Why do I feel disconnected when everyone else seems connected?

I want you to know something important.

Grief often intensifies during the holidays. Not because you're regressive,

but because the holidays magnify what matters most in love.

Real love doesn't fade quietly.

It lingers.

It remembers.

It shows up where familiar rhythms return.

You didn't just lose your mom.

You lost future moments you imagine will still happen.

You lost conversations you thought you'll have later.

You lost a version of the holidays that felt safe.

And that's not something you get over.

That's something you learn to live with.

One of the hardest things about grief is that it doesn't ask permission before it shows up.

You could be doing fine one moment and then something else to win out of you the next moment.

When that happens, I want you to know this.

You don't need to fight it.

Fighting grief often makes it louder.

Sitting with it,

acknowledging it,

softens it over time.

Sometimes you just need to say, okay, this is grief.

It's here right now,

and I'm still okay.

There's something powerful about naming what you feel instead of judging it,

saying, this is sadness or this is longing,

or this is missing her name. It emotions brings them out of the shadows.

And when emotions are seen,

they lose some of their grip.

I also want to talk about comparison,

because grief during the holidays can make you feel Isolated.

You may look around and think,

why does everyone else seem okay?

Why do they get to laugh?

Why does it still feel so hard for me?

But comparison will only deepen the ape.

You don't know what people are carrying beneath their smiles.

Or more importantly, your grief doesn't need to look like anyone else's to be valid.

Your journey is yours.

Your pace is yours.

Your heart knows what it needs.

Let me say this again.

It is okay if your holidays look quieter now.

It is okay if it looks different.

It is okay if your version of celebration is simply peace.

Peace is not a lesser outcome.

Peace is sacred.

There's a scripture that says,

blessed are those who mourn,

for they shall be comforted.

Not rushed,

not corrected.

Comforted.

Comfort takes time.

Comfort requires presence.

Comfort comes in layers.

If this season feels overwhelming,

I encourage you to create what I call emotional checkpoints.

Moments throughout the day where you pause and ask yourself,

how my brother doing right now?

Not how you think you should be doing,

not how others expect you to be doing,

but how you truly are.

And if the answer is I'm tired,

then honor that.

If the answer is I'm sad,

then allow it.

If the answer is I'm okay right now,

receive that without guilt.

You don't need to carry everything at once.

Another thing I want you to release is the pressure to make meaning out of your grief right now.

Some people will say everything happens for a reason.

And while there may be a purpose down the road,

grief doesn't need to be productive to be valid.

Sometimes the purpose of grief is simply to be felt.

Healing doesn't come from forcing understanding.

It comes from allowing experience.

There may come a time when your story helps someone else.

There may come a day when your pain becomes wisdom.

But today,

your only responsibility is to take care of yourself with the same tenderness you would offer someone else who is hurting.

Let me also talk about faith and grief,

because this will Many people feel conflicted.

You can love God and still feel angry.

You could trust God and still feel confused.

You could believe and still ache.

Faith doesn't remove grief.

It walks with you through it.

God is not offended by your tears.

He is not disappointed by your questions.

Scripture reminds us that he collects every tear.

That means none of this is wasted.

None of it is unseen.

And if right now your prayers feel short or quiet or unfinished, that's okay.

Sometimes the most powerful prayer is simply, God, I'm here.

Help me now. I want you to do something with me.

Wherever you are,

take a slow breath in.

Hold it for a minute,

and Release it slowly.

Do that again.

This is not about fits in anything.

This is about reminding your body that you are safe right now.

You are allowed to move slowly this season.

You're allowed to feel deeply.

You're allowed to protect your heart.

And you're allowed to survive the holidays in whatever way you need to.

If no one has told you this yet,

let me be the one to say it.

I'm proud of you.

Not because you're strong all the time,

but because you keep showing up even when it hurts.

Sometimes the bravest thing you can do is stay.

I want to leave you with this thought.

Grief is not the opposite of love.

It is a continuation of it.

And every time you feel that ache,

it's because something beautiful once existed and still matters.

You're not walking this season alone and you don't have to rush your healing now. I want to offer this prayer,

God, for every heart carrying grief this season.

Be near.

Bring peace without pressure.

Rest without guilt,

comfort without conditions.

Hold them when memories feel heavy and remind them that love never dies.

It transforms.

Amen.

Thank you for your question,

and I truly hope it helps people today.

Now don't forget to send your questions to me via email@rshermanealtalkwithreginald.com or visit my website at realtalkwithreginald.com and instant message me,

or send me a voicemail on my website or message me on social media platforms.

Just search for Real Talk with Reginaldee.

Make sure you share this episode with someone who needs this message today.

And don't forget to subscribe to the show so you can receive alerts when new episodes are published.

And as always,

thank you for tuning in.

And until next time, remember this Sometimes just getting through the holidays is the victory,

and that is more than enough.

And if all you do today is breathe,

that is enough.

Thanks for listening to Real Talk with Reginald D. If you enjoyed listening to Real Talk with Reginald D, please rate and review on Apple Podcast. See you next time.