Messy Middle Of Life: How Chaos Leads to Purpose & Building A Soul-Led Business With Kristan Swan (Inspirational)

Feeling stuck in the messy middle of life or business? What if your biggest breakthrough is hiding in the space between burnout and breakthrough?

In this inspirational and motivational episode, Reginald D sits down with leadership trainer, spiritual workshop facilitator, and business coach Kristan Swan to explore how to transform life’s messiest seasons into purpose-filled growth.

Kristan unpacks her powerful personal story, her journey from landscape design to executive coaching, and reveals her signature framework: The Four Essences of Success—Structure, Systems, Strategy, and Space. You’ll also hear how her groundbreaking Discovering Your Spiritual Autobiography workshop has become a beacon of hope for people navigating grief, identity, burnout, and reinvention.

This episode is a motivational masterclass in clarity, healing, and soul-aligned success. Whether you’re an entrepreneur, creator, leader, or simply feeling lost in transition—this one will move you, challenge you, and help you redefine what real success looks like.

In today’s fast-paced, hyper-connected world, more and more high-achievers are burning out, feeling stuck, or struggling to find meaning behind their grind. Kristan’s story and methods speak to that rising need for clarity, balance, and soul-deep transformation. This episode will help listeners realign with their purpose, build systems that support sustainable growth, and rediscover their hope—even in the midst of chaos.

What You’ll Gain from This Motivational Episode:

• Practical inspiration for designing a life and business that honors your values, not just your hustle.
• A powerful breakdown of the Four Essences of Success to help entrepreneurs and leaders build scalable, soul-aligned systems.
• Hopeful guidance on how to reflect, rewrite, and reclaim your story—especially if you're navigating uncertainty, loss, or reinvention.

Press play now and let Kristan Swan guide you into a more inspired, intentional, and spiritually aligned version of your success story.

Kristan's contact info:

Website: https://kristanswan.com  

Linkedin: www.linkedin.com/in/kristanbrowneswan 

Substack: https://substack.com/@kristanswan

inspirational podcast, motivational podcast, motivational speech, purpose-driven life, burnout recovery, entrepreneur coaching, faith and success, leadership transformation, business strategy podcast, Four Essences of Success, spiritual growth, mind

Transcript

 Welcome to Real Talk with Reginald D. I'm your host, Reginald D. On today's episode, I have Kristen Swan. Kristen is a leadership trainer, business coach, author, storyteller, and a creator of powerful framework called the Four Essences of Success. And we'll dive into turning life's twists, turns and even messy in betweens into clarity, growth and purpose. Welcome to the show, Kristin. Speaker A: Oh, thank you so much. I'm delighted to be here. I'm really excited for our conversation. Speaker B: Absolutely, absolutely. I could not wait. I could not wait. So, Kristin, can you tell us a little about where you grew up and what your childhood was like? Speaker A: Yes, for sure. I am from Southern California. I was born in Hollywood, California, and I still am in Southern California. I love it. I've gone away and then I find myself drawn back. But I mean, I feel like in some ways I had what felt like an unusual childhood, at least when I was comparing myself to other kids that I was going to school with because I am an only child and my parents were both transplants. They were not originally from Southern California. And so I think in some ways they kind of found each other. Speaker C: Right. Speaker A: And I was the product of them finding each other. And it was not, not really enough of a foundation for a long term marriage for them. So my parents divorced when, well, I think they separated when I was 4 and divorced shortly thereafter. And both my parents stayed in the area and I lived primarily with my mom and we moved a lot, which was, was challenging. It was really challenging, which meant in turn that I changed schools a lot. And so I'm really grateful that one of the real bright spots was the fact that I had my grandparents. I had both my grandparents on the east coast that I spent most every summer with or a big chunk of the summer. And then my mom's mom moved out here shortly right around when I was one. And she was a real important influence in my life. So kind of chaotic in a way. And that definitely informed a lot of choices that I made as an adult sometimes kind of, not necessarily. I felt like sometimes led me to some reactive choices rather than really thoughtful choices. But you know, you learn along the way. And I was also fortunate to really enjoy school. School was a real safe space for me and I did well in school. It came pretty easily to me. And I, I also benefited from a great many teachers who were so generous and kind to me. I am consistently so in awe of teachers. And a lot of times teachers have no idea. Speaker C: Right. Speaker A: How impactful they are on your life and the true pleasures of living in the place where I grew up, essentially, is that I have actually had the opportunity to say thank you to so many of those teachers who just by being who they were, made such a difference in my life. Speaker B: Yes, absolutely. You know, two things. We got to comment on that. You know, I used to love going to my grandparents in the summertime. It was just different, you know, growing up in single parent home. And then I get to go and hang out with them in the summertime. Then I get what I want then, you know, because it was kind of tough. But you mentioned something about teachers. The thing about teachers. Here's the thing, and I'm just going to say this and we're going to move on. They are so important. Speaker A: Yes. Speaker B: So important. And anybody that's listening or have any kind of influence pay these teachers what they were. Speaker A: Oh, yes, yes. I second that. And these are the people who need to be paid, like professional athletes. I mean, these are the people that we want to make it as attractive as possible to be getting people, men, women, people of all different backgrounds as especially elementary, that elementary age where kids are learning to learn in those early years whether or not school feels good to them. And so I just. I second you wholeheartedly. Teachers are so important and we need to do everything we can do to support them and, you know, make that an attractive and meaningful. It was a century ago being a teacher was a very highly regarded profession even at the elementary age. Speaker B: Yes, it was. It was. We'll keep fighting for that and keep praying for that. Speaker A: Exactly. Speaker B: So, Kristen, you've had a diverse career journey from landscape design to business coaching and leadership training. What was the turning point that made you shift your entire focus toward helping entrepreneurs? Speaker A: Well, I've always been. I'll start a little earlier. I have always been extremely entrepreneurial myself. Probably around age 9 or 10, I am realizing that my neighbors are, you know, they're going to go on vacation. And so I'm knocking on their door saying, do you want me to get your mail? Do you want me to water your plants? You know, or I see that somebody gets a pet and they work, you know, and I'm thinking, I come home, you know, earlier from school, do you want me to take your dog out? Speaker C: Right. Speaker A: So I started working for just kind of recognizing. And I think this is kind of key to the entrepreneurial journey, or at least mine is seeing a need, right. And figuring out if I have the skills to fill it. And I remember one time I had a new neighbor had moved in next door and they Had a little tiny backyard. And part of the backyard, though, was this really beautiful. They had roses. And it was in this, you know, specific area of the garden, and it was full of weeds, chock full of weeds. And I thought, this is an opportunity, right? And so I knock on the door and I said, because I knew the neighbors before who had really spent a lot of time, and I knew how beautiful those roses could be when that, that bed was weeded. And so I knock on the door and the new neighbor, I introduced myself and I said, I, you know, I'm. I'm looking for some work this summer. May I weed your backyard? I'll weed this whole area. It was probably about 10ft or something. By the end of the summer, it felt like a hundred, but. And I think I said I would do it for. I mean, gosh, I don't. Who knows? It was so little, right, that the amount of money that I was charging really underestimated how difficult this was going to be. And so they took me up on it. And each day I get up and I go and I have to start getting up earlier and earlier because it's getting hot and it's just. This area is just right out in the baking sun. And I tell you that that was a. I don't know that I, I don't know that it had very many applicable lessons, but there were a few. And I definitely, you know, I bit off more than I could chew in that moment. And that would have been a time to bring in some partners on my endeavor, right? But because I felt like as soon as I got, I mean, when I finally did get to the end of that, the weeds had started again at the beginning of that. And so I always was that kid. And then I ended up. I really ended up falling into landscape design because again, because we, my husband and I, we had finally been able to buy a home. And it had this crazy messed up backyard. And we didn't have. There was, I mean, we were budgeted, so there was not a penny extra, right. So, you know, as I just started weeding and doing stuff, and eventually I turned this yard into a really beautiful space that we used all the time. And, you know, it was like our going out space, right? And. And then friends would come over and they'd say, oh, gosh, this is so great. Would you come and give me some pointers on what to do? So I'd go over and then they'd thank me. And, you know, and that became more and more frequent to the point, you know, I'D get a fruit basket or I'd get a little gift card or something. And so I finally, just one day, I was like, I gotta make a business out of this because, you know, and so it kind of. I didn't necessarily choose that. I feel like. I feel like it kind of chose me in that moment. And so I did that. And I was good at it. I mean, and I enjoyed it. And I kind of. When I first started my landscape design business, I did everything wrong. Oh, my gosh. Yes. Speaker C: I. Speaker A: It was kind of like. It was like that weeding experience as a little kid, but, like, times 10, right? I was just doing everything wrong because I had no idea. I had studied. I had a liberal arts background. I had studied fine art and geography, you know, and so here I am starting a business. And it wasn't until I started meeting other landscape designers and landscape architects and people in the field that I got this idea about coaching and helping people. And at this point, I had had enough years as a landscape designer and business owner that I had had a ton of, you know, failures and lean, lean, lean years. And I had, you know, built up some success. And what I saw, again, I saw this need because I was meeting these people who were doing landscape design who were so much more wildly creative and talented than I was. I mean, they were really doing work that was just. I mean, it was so beautiful and. And meaningful and. And I just thought. And then I would talk to them a little bit about their business, and it was just a hot mess, right? Because you essentially, you had people who. And I eventually expanded my coaching practice to include other people in the way, kind of not very elegantly that I would describe my type of ideal client, so to speak, is I work with these people that love this thing that they do, right? They're designers, they're. They could be attorneys, they could be in the wellness space. Like, they have such a gift around this thing that they do. And when you develop a business around it, then you also have the business part, right? And a lot of times that's the thing that really can get in the way and become so cumbersome for them to be able to continue to do the thing that they do or grow the thing that they do. So I was like, well, why not take all of this stuff that I've learned, right? And boy, learned the hard way, right? I mean, this is like lived experience. And I mean, I always tease myself that I'm an experiential learner, meaning I got to do it and I got to do it the hard way. And usually I've got to do it once, twice, maybe even three times. Speaker C: Right. Speaker B: Right. So let's dive into this. I think that's where you were going with it. Your four essence of success, structure, system, strategy, and space. What inspires you to create that framework? Speaker A: Well, because, yeah, it definitely feeds into what I'm describing here. So you have this talent, right? You. Let's. We'll use landscape design. So you are a wonderful landscape designer, and you're bringing such creativity, right? Such vision into your design work. What I was seeing is that the piece that was kind of interrupting that work and was there weren't any systems in place, right. That there was always this kind of reinventing of the wheel, right. Even in the invoicing process. Don't put your creativity into how you create an invoice. Speaker C: Right? Speaker A: I mean, just make a template, for crying out loud. And a lot of times people who are more creative, there can be a tendency to approach everything creatively. And it's like, no, there's certain things that really, I mean, if you have a system, then that allows. And then from that, you know, that is, you know, they all weave together the structure. I mean, a lot of times, too, it was like, okay, what is the structure of your business? What's your business model? Speaker C: Right? Speaker A: And even asking the other thing that I think a lot of times people who start businesses, one of the things that never gets considered is, where are you going with this? What is your. What's your end game? And so I would always really ask people to think about that too, is, are you building this? Are you building a business to sell? You know, do you want to eventually grow this big enough that you can sell it to someone else or a multitude of someone else's. Is this a legacy business? Do you have children? Do you want to build something that you're hoping that, you know, family becomes involved in and it grows on? Or is this your business that as time goes on, it may change with your kind of area of interest, right? So I think that it's important to consider that piece and. And that can kind of help also creating that structure. Speaker C: Right? Speaker A: And doing some reverse engineering so that you've got an understanding of what your business model is too. And then from there there's. I mean, I used to joke with clients that, you know, if you do something once, it deserves a system. Speaker C: Right? Speaker A: I mean, and I'm talking about everything from how you answer the phone to how you start your day and end your day, how you meet with Clients, you know, what are the questions that you ask them? What are create forms. Speaker C: Right. Speaker A: I mean, we have all this wonderful, you know, accessible, free technology. Use it. Speaker B: Yeah, exactly. Because I think you hit it on the head when you running the business or somebody's running the business. They don't have really a goal of what they're trying to accomplish because you hit it right on the head. When you was talking about it, I was like, yeah, you know, some people bill it to sell, some people bill it to leave as a legacy, you know, and all of that. But here's the thing. I think a lot of people, when they don't have that end goal in mind, it becomes a repetitious thing. And I think that's how entrepreneurs and leaders and whatever they're trying to do gets burnt out because it becomes day to day, you know. Speaker A: Yeah. Speaker B: Without seeing the future where you're trying to go. Speaker A: Well, I do think that there is. And that's another thing too that I think is so important is to know yourself. Speaker C: Right. Speaker A: So there are some people who are serial entrepreneurs, Right. I mean, they love that rush of the startup, Right. I mean, it's exciting, everything's new. You're, you're, you know, in a highly kind of creative, innovative, generative, you know, all the is space. I mean, that's. And sometimes I would work with business owners, founders who suffered from what I called founder syndrome. Speaker C: Right. Speaker A: It's really wonderful. And that's a great skill to have to be able to start a business. And there's going to be people that, that's kind of their space, that is their zone of genius. You know, it's not so much about what the business is, it's that, that startup phase. So they're going to be the ones that just keep going on. But then you have people who have founded a business and it really is their thing and how important it is to mature because the person you are who starts a business, you know, there's a certain skill set that's needed at that moment in time. And then there is going to be. Then as the business matures, you have to mature with it, Right? Yeah, but there's a learning curve, right. Speaker B: And I believe like some people are gifted to start a business, but they have a hard time sustaining it. And I know a guy, man, he got multiple business. Keep in mind, he's, you know, he's got some money, but, you know, he basically started his business, starting his business, he'd get it, but then he puts a team together. Hey, man, y' all Sustain it because he's on to the next. Speaker A: Exactly. You know, and that's how he is successful. Because there are people, unfortunately, who have the Founder syndrome, as I call it, who don't recognize that moment where bring in more people. Speaker C: Right? Speaker A: You are actually the bottleneck to your own success. And it could be that you're not, you know, you've grown it to a size that you now need to be bringing in more people. It may be so many times I would see people who all the institutional knowledge of their business is right here, right? So I mean, they would become so overwhelmed with the idea of training someone or bringing another person on because they're like, well, they don't know what to do. And I'd be like, well, we'll give them. How about, let's train them? Well, oh, I can do it faster, I can do it better. Well, you're one person, right? I mean, you will create that bottleneck. So again, kind of going back to those systems and that structure and even strategy, right, is knowing that you want to get to a certain, you know, number, a certain geographic area, a certain number of clients, a certain, you know, you know, dollar number, whatever that is. Again, how are you going to do that and recognizing that whether you're bringing in kind of contract workers or employees, you know that there's going to be, you need to bring in other people. And then also how do you, how do you onboard them? Right? So creating those systems around onboarding and how do you, you. Everyone needs to be. That's the other thing. You know, too many, too often, too many founders feel like they're, you know, that they are irreplaceable. You do not want to be irreplaceable because that is also a sure fire way to burning out, Right. If you can't take a vacation, right. You're done for. Speaker B: Right? Yeah. If you can't balance the word of life thing, I know being a founder is going to take a little bit more, but you know, at that point you can't depend on your people. You got another problem at the end of the day, right? So, Kristen, let's talk about wallpaper words. What are they? Why do they matter in communication? Speaker A: Oh, gosh. Well, I love to read. I mean, literally, I can't think of a time in my life when I did not know how to read. And so words are so important to me. And I don't care what business you're in, communication is key. Speaker C: Right? Speaker A: And there are these words that are wallpaper words. And what I mean by that are. These are those words that. That we use, and they've become. So, I mean, a big one for, you know, in working with my business clients is, well, I, you know, I want to be successful. Okay. Okay. So what does that mean? Speaker C: Right? Speaker A: So talk to me. Like, what does success mean? And that is a classic wallpaper word, Everyone. Success, Success. And. And what I mean by that is that there's. Okay, so there's a dictionary definition, there's an academic definition of the word success. Speaker C: Right? Speaker A: Okay. And then there's also kind of a cultural or societal understanding of that word. And I would say probably at this time in our. Where in the United States and in this moment, it probably is reflecting some sort of financial wealth. Speaker C: Right. Speaker A: And even. Well, but I mean, it's. I always ask people, these are words that don't accept someone else's definition of what that word means. Like, let's really. Let's dig into what success looks like for you. Speaker C: Right. Speaker A: And also what wealth looks like for you. Speaker C: Right. Speaker A: Because that's another word that's. I mean, I remember the first time going to the grocery store and just buying what I wanted and buying the brand names, and I felt so wealthy in that moment. I mean, I was like, wow. To be able to. Like, that was. Well, to me, to not be buying the plain wrap brand and to be, like, doing the mental calculation of exactly how much was in my basket before I got up to the check stand. Speaker B: Yeah, that's the thing about it. And you hit it right on the head. Because I think I felt the same way when I went through life, you know, growing up with a single parent, you know, with a single mom. And I would watch her balance a checkbook and be like, all right, this is all we got. We don't have this to do this. We don't have this, you know? So I was kind of like, at a point I said, man, I don't want to be like this. One day I'm going to figure out how to work my tail off and not be like this. So I remember one day, I was in the store one day, and I looked back over my life as things go, say, hey, man, I ain't got a balance. Really nothing now. I'm not a big spender either now. So when I know I can go to the grocery store, I want a steak, I get steak, you know? Speaker A: Yeah. Speaker B: And stuff like that. But coming from what I saw to where I am, it's like, man, the life I really wanted. I want to be held down to what I can Eat or what, you know, and things like that. So. But Chris, you're discovering your spiritual autobiography workshop is ascribed as a map and hope. Can you unpack what that means for our listeners? Speaker A: Yes. So. Oh, go ahead. Speaker B: And who is it for? Speaker A: Oh, gosh. Well, I. About a year ago, I was thinking to myself that I was ready to transition away from business coaching. And I wanted to. I kind of, through many circumstances, had rediscovered my love of group workshops. And I also was feeling kind of disheartened by the increase in, I mean, I think on the heels of COVID and the just the kind of incivility of so many, you know, especially if you're watching any sort of news or just. I wanted to think of a way to get people talking to each other and I wanted a way for people to reflect on their own experience. Kind of be thinking about, I think a lot about story, right? I mean, story storytelling and stories are such a. A way of learning for all of us. And I think of story in a way that is there's. And I saw this as a coach. I mean, there's the stories that we tell ourselves, right? All that stuff that we're telling ourselves. There's the stories that we've also inherited or that have been told to us. You know, especially in my life as a coach, I've observed, I mean, that money story that people inherit, right? That's a big one that we absorb. And then also we're absorbing the story from around money and wealth from the outside world, right? Telling us all these things. And then there's the stories that we choose to tell others, right? So again, kind of where are we, you know, kind of controlling the narrative, so to speak, where are we willing to be vulnerable? And so discovering your spiritual autobiography is a way to reflect on your life both in thinking about your own experiences. And when I say spirituality, I'm really. It's non denominational. The purpose here is not to question or challenge anyone's beliefs and not to instill or impose my beliefs on anyone else. And for some people, spirituality is hand in glove, so to speak, with their religious traditions and practices. And for some people, spirituality, they may have a, you know, they may attend religious organized services and their spirituality is kind of separate from that. And then for some people, they don't, you know, they're not practicing a specific religion, but they do consider themselves spiritual. And I, I think at the core of it for me is a sense of being a part of something bigger than yourself, right? That there's something bigger. And so you Know, that's a big, big answer for saying, here I am, I'm sitting here and I'm thinking, what is something that I can do that's helpful both to people and to build some community? So I came up with this workshop and I do it at this moment in time. It is all always in person and we meet in person. And as opposed to just a regular autobiography where the inclination might be to think just kind of strictly along chronological lines, the spiritual autobiography, I encourage people it's only a thousand or fifteen hundred words, so it's not going to be your whole, you know, it's a snapshot. Speaker C: Right. Speaker A: And I also tell people it's because when people first start the workshop, they're always, they're a little. They're intrigued, but they're a little antsy and they're a little like, what is this thing and how are we going to get there? And sometimes they're a little frustrated with me because I'm like, well, there's a lot of different ways to go and I would consider it. This is like, this is a living document, so to speak. So the spiritual autobiography that I write this month, you know, next month can be wildly different. And the reason why I think that it is, it's one of the things that has come out of it that I didn't necessarily plan for or anticipate, was that one of the end results is hope. Because essentially what you're recognizing in this process, whether you do this with me as an eight week version, which I do, or you know, a one or two day retreat intensive, is you're reflecting on your life and you're still here. Like you're still, you're still here, you're still standing, you know. Yeah, I've got a few scars and I've got some bruises in here, in my heart, but I'm still standing. And as much as I think that there's power in stories, we're also bigger than our stories. Speaker C: Right. Speaker A: Because whatever those stories that I have that are from even from yesterday, Right. Like right here and now, I have the opportunity to be different or to be. However it's. My story is not done. And I think there's a lot of hope in that or I find hope in that. Speaker B: I love that. I love that. Because one thing I do know, I always tell people, hope is huge. And sometimes you got to win wounded. At the end of the day, you have to win wounded, but you got to win, but you got to win. Speaker A: Yeah. Speaker B: So, Kristin, how do people personally find hope when life Gets messy. And what advice would you give to someone who is at a season of uncertainty right now? Speaker A: Oh, gosh. Well, first and foremost, I would just say my heart goes out to you. And I don't know who you are, but truly, my heart goes out to you. And I just was having this conversation this morning with a colleague, and, you know, what I know at this point in my life is I know that I'm still here despite, you know, despite all manner of personal and professional challenges and just rough spots and just plain, you know, things that felt really horrible. And so I don't. I. I always want to be very careful not to glamorize the. You know, there's so much conversation around. Oh, we learn from our failures and grit and resilience, and those things are all true. And when you are in the midst of it, it is scary, and it just. Frankly, it sucks. I mean, it is so hard. So I just. I want to say. I'm not here to say that that's true. I mean, it just is hard. And I think the thing that I have found is I keep showing up, and sometimes I don't even show up. I give myself permission. If I need to show up and I'm 30%, then I show up 30%. And that 30% is my hundred percent that day, right? And that's okay. But I think that has made the difference, and that has actually yielded these opportunities that I could never have imagined for myself by showing up. So whether that means. And I worry because I think that's harder in some ways to do in this space and time that we're in right now, because there is a way to be so isolated, right? And. And so when I'm. When I also, what I'm saying by when I'm showing up, it means that I am. I mean, sometimes it means I'm showing up for myself, right? And that might mean, you know, those days that you really, you know, that might mean you. You get up and you take a shower and you put on fresh clothes, right? You eat something good for yourself, you drink a few glasses of water, whatever that is. I mean, there is that showing up for yourself, and I think there's that other piece of get in community somehow, you know, get with other human beings. Speaker B: You know, I like the way you put that. Because people think that, you know, they have to make these giant steps in life, you know, just depends on how low you are. Sometimes you're so low, man, you can't leap to the top in one leap. You just got to keep Leaping, leap and leaping until you get there. But as long as you're making progress, you need to be proud of yourself. Speaker A: Yeah. And it's, and I mean, we love, I mean, we have so much mythology in this country of ours that is, you know, bootstrapping and self made this, that and the other thing. And that is just, that's just not true. That's not the, it's, you don't do this alone. You don't do this thing of life alone. And you certainly, you know, for me, my definition of a successful life is relationship and community. Speaker C: And. Speaker A: But even if your definition of success isn't about that, I don't also believe that we're meant to do life alone. I think that there's, we were talking about teachers at the beginning of our conversation and how many teachers have no idea that that little thing that they do that day that just keeps a kid coming back to school the next day or inspires a kid to take a maybe a little bit harder math class the next year or something like that. Speaker C: Right. Speaker A: I mean, just the littlest little thing. And so, so I think that being amongst people is healing both ways. Speaker C: Right. Speaker A: And that's part of that showing up. Speaker B: Yes, exactly. Exactly. Well, I'm gonna leave that right there. So finally, where can my listeners connect with you and purchase your book or join your workshops and your four S's of Success program? Speaker A: Well, you can find me on my website, KristinSwan.com and I, I have my Spaghetti on the Wall journal for sale there, which is a great way to start doing some writing and learning about yourself. And there's also an events page that gives you information about where workshops are being held. And if you've got a group that you want to get people together and you want to discover your spiritual autobiography, then let's talk and I can come to your group of people. So there's a whole bunch of different ways, but probably the best way is. Kristenswan.com okay, there you have it. Speaker B: Thank you so much, Kristen. Thank you so much. I really enjoyed it. I really enjoyed it. And keep doing what you're doing. You're definitely making a difference. Speaker A: Thank you. Speaker B: Thank you for tuning in to Real Talk with Reginald D. If you enjoyed listening to Real Talk with Reginald D, please rate and review on Apple Podcasts. See you next time.