Navigating Life's Turbulence: A Conversation With Author Carolyn Deck (Motivational/Inspirational)

In this inspirational episode, I had the pleasure of speaking with Carolyn Deck, a New Zealand native and author of "Above the Turbulence, Your Ticket Out of Pain To Purpose," and co-author of "Christian Marriage, Devotionals from Both Perspectives." Carolyn shared her journey from growing up in New Zealand and opened up about her turbulent childhood, marked by family dysfunction to becoming an author and living a life filled with international travel and profound personal growth and a marriage filled with happiness. Carolyn talks about marriage and the steps to creating a wonderful marriage.

Humbled by her life's challenges, Carolyn Deck turned her past pain into a source of strength. From conquering fears to overcoming hurts, her journey spans over twenty countries, navigating adventures and trials along the way. As a wife of thirty-four years and mother raising five children while living in Australia and USA, Carolyn understands life's difficulties. Her passion is to inspire and encourage with the tools she has to rise above trials. 

Carolyn - "Our pain and struggles, with a higher perspective, is the fuel to live a victorious future".

Join Carolyn on this transformative journey!

Carolyn's book and social media links. (All proceeds from Carolyn's book go towards helping orphans and widows in Uganda through FacesWithNames.org)

Purchase Carolyn's Book:  Link:  http://a.co/d/iduY1f7

Carolyn's Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/carolyn.deck

Carolyn's Instagram Page: https://www.instagram.com/carolyn.deck

 Faces With Names Foundation: https://faceswithnames.org

Transcript

0:00

Welcome to Real Talk with Reginald D. I'm your host, Reginald D. On today's podcast, I have Carolyn Dett, a New Zealand native and an author of Above the Turbulence, Your Ticket Out of Pain and Purpose, and the co-author of Christian Marriage, Devotionals from Both Perspectives. Welcome Oh, thank you very much for having me. I'm excited to have I am too, and I thank you so much for reaching out to me on my website and Yeah, God just guides and direct us and opens doors and, you know, we just have to say yes and Exactly. So Carolyn, can you tell us a little bit about yourself and where you grew Okay, sure. Yes, as you said, I'm from New Zealand. I'm a daughter of two. I had a big sister. Well, I have a big sister, rather. And yeah, things were great, and then they weren't. And then things got a little turbulent and then broke down, sadly. You know, when two people come together and get married, are not two perfect people, right? So the harmony at times, unless you really focus on it and are committed to that, can quickly unravel. And so I just want to shout out to that note to people who are listening that are in relationship, married or otherwise, that yeah, just remember no one's perfect and have the posture of good listening and kindness, I guess. So yes, so sadly, my family unraveled and then this theme started in my life where I was on the move. Firstly, it was when I was about 16, I moved out of my family home after my father had moved out, actually. My mother was an alcoholic and struggling with herself. And so my sister put her hand up one day at a family meeting and said, we'll have her. So interestingly, just so much I learned from that. And I just embraced that all, you know, just recently, and I'm going to chop and change all over the place. I hope you keep up. I was in Africa recently and I met this young man and it says your past doesn't define you. And so I don't know if it was this really strong conscious thought or what it was actually. I was given this opportunity to relocate. It was hard. I walked away from schools and friendships and so on, but I also walked away from that dysfunction, which was a good thing. But it did leave me grieving because my family wasn't a family any longer. So anyways, I had a year there. I then came back to Wellington in New Zealand, where I grew up, and lived with my dad for six months and oh that's right when I was at my new school I applied for American Field Scholarship and I don't even know why I thought I would succeed in that because I was pretty bad at school to be honest. but I'm a jovial person, I was athletic, and I just went, you know what, I'm going for it. We'll see what happens. And yeah, I ended up in Kansas, of all places, little old Winfield, Kansas. And it was funny, I couldn't even find it on the map. So that was kind of funny. And so there started my international global sort of theme of life. I had a year there with the most incredible family. They taught me what love looked like, what it sounded like and love and action. It was such a blessing and so rich. And we're still really great friends today. And I'm just so blessed with that relationship. So I go back to New Zealand, I actually work at McDonald's. It was the first McDonald's in New Zealand back in 80, yeah, I graduated 80, 81. So that shows you my age. So it must've been an 81. Anyway, and then I got into the travel industry, which, yeah, I haven't stopped traveling. So I was in the industry for about 12 years. I married an amazing man. We've been together, married for 34 years. We had four children in New Zealand. And then he goes, do you want to go to Australia? And I'm like, oh, it's an adventurous spirit. I said, sure, why not? My youngest wasn't even one. I had these four kids. I didn't know anybody in Adelaide, nobody. I'm like, oh, well, let's go. So we went, we had another child over there, William, who's incredible young man. Yes, just an incredible experience in Australia. We moved again about 15 years later. And then four years later, here we are in Chicago. And we've been here 10 years. And yeah, we're about to move again, back to Australia. So yeah, as my book would suggest, I'll just show you here. It's called Above the Turbulence, Your Ticket Out of Pain to Purpose. I have seen quite a bit of experience of turbulence, not only in aircraft being thrown around, but in my life and choice making and the receiving end of other people's choices, pretty turbulent. But the good Lord showed me that I can actually fly above. And with him, when I get up there, the perspective is very different. And he healed me in the making of this book. Took six years. Did I want to write a book? Was it on my heart? Absolutely not. I wasn't Mary and go, yeah, here I am, pick me. I'm like, silly idea. No, like you got the wrong sister. And he's going, oh, really? Well, I don't think so. I want you because you have no idea what you're doing. And I'm like, yeah, well, you're right on that point. And so we had this little back and forth. And then I said, yeah, you know what? Well, still a dumb idea, because, I mean, my story, there's nothing great about my story. And he went wrong again. History. His story. He weaved my story into this time called history. And he wanted me to share my life, but with him in it. And the exceedingly abundant, you know, life that I've had because I have said yes to him. And so, yeah, a wild ride and it's still going and it's still awesome. And it's still scary and it's still, but yeah, So you talk about turbulence and I think about turbulence, you know, just cause you're in a turbulence. I've been in planes before and things like that. It Funny you should say that. So you won't believe this. My youngest son, he is now a pilot and flies for American. And he goes, you know what, mom? Planes never crash in turbulence. That's And I'm like, interesting. And then I thought about planes and faith, right? People go, oh, you know, I don't believe in that stuff. I don't have that faith. Well, think about all your things that you do have to experience to have faith. I get an elevator every day. I mean, that could drop 44 floors. And yeah, you know, I cross the street, you know, I get in a plane, I've never seen the pilot before, you know, all these things. So I love to tease that out a bit when people say they don't have faith. Interesting. Wow. Yeah. And so you've been married for 34 years and raised five children, which is a huge accomplishment. You know, I mean, sadly to say that people are not together that long anymore than they used to be, you know, for whatever reason, you know, but how did your personal experience with family and marriage influence your approach of overcoming the trials that went through and what you would go through with having, you know, a marriage and kids and traveling and doing it all at one time? Sure. Good question. Rick Warren is somebody I follow daily hope. And he said something this week, which I found quite profound. And we were talking about this before we came on and it's intimacy. And to me, I see any through a lot of what I hear. So I choose, I choose very intentionally what I listened to, who I listened to. And I have a chapter on that actually. My book is written as a travel agent and it's like, you've come to my office and I have you sit down and we talk about a few things about, you know, the beginning of where you think you're going, um, how to travel, the perils of travel, et cetera. And one of them is on the tips of prepare for the journey and you need to travel light, which is an analogy of heavy luggage. You dragging around the place. It's not easy. Well, I liken that to the emotional baggage and weight you carry around. And another one I talk about is the noise cancelling headphones, you know, there's monologue in your head. And so Rick Warren talks about your shape and I feel so blessed that I was able to understand what that looked like. So for Christians, S is for your spiritual gifting that is given to you specifically, H is your heart, A is your ability, P is your personality and E is your experience. And I have been shaped by the past by the dysfunction of my family and the pain of that. But I made a very intentional choice that I'm going to learn from that. I'm going to, I'm going to understand what marriage looks like to find marriage. And it's not what the world tells you today. So when you have something created, it usually comes with a handbook, right? Like the vacuum cleaner still comes with a handbook, you know, your Apple phone, well, you know, your iPods, everything comes with a little manual. And I've been blessed I feel, but I made the intentional choice. I'm going to study that handbook of life, basic instruction before leaving Earth, which is called the Bible. And God defines very clearly what it looks like. And as you said, I co-authored in that Christian marriage devotional on both sides from both perspectives. And I got a clear, solid, truthful understanding of what marriage looked like. And so I grew up in a childhood where I saw what it wasn't intended to look like and how that unravels. And I sat on the fence post and watched other family members' marriage unravel. And I knew very clearly I didn't want that. So what was I prepared to do to ensure that wasn't going to happen for me? And yeah, it takes a lot of work and it takes a lot of intimacy checking in right into me, I see. And so Rick Warren also says, I just I quote him all day long, but he goes, you know, you've got to do a checkup from the neck up. You've got stinking thinking up there. Right. You've got to take the garbage out. And so a lot of the breakdown in marriage and in relationship, it's always hashtag me is what I want. And that's not what God said about marriage. and why he created marriage. And, you know, people don't like what it says that he had Adam and he identified that, you know, Adam isn't meant to be alone, so I'm going to give him a helper. Well, instantly, if you don't understand that term, it's considered a helper. What? What do you mean? Like a maidservant or something? Like women arc up about that. But here's the thing. We don't know what we don't know until we know. Right. And the word helper. And I think I guess it's the Hebrew. Was it the Greek? I'm not quite sure. But that word helper is the helper that Jesus said, I have to leave you so that then when I'm gone and ascended to be with my father, I can give you your helper. Wow. To me, when I heard that, I'm like, Wow, that's the Holy Spirit he gives to me. He's not subservient to God or Jesus, right? They have this beautiful unity. And I looked at myself like that. I'm like, huh, that's the helper I'm going to be in my marriage. This is what I need to work towards. This is. the marriage I want. It's being intentional and it's being honest. It's being honest when I was on a momentum, I love it, for mums, this podcast the other week. I'll say, come on girls, let's be real. You get all cranky and I get it like you've had kids all day and you're trying to do dinner and now it's burnt. And then your husband comes and phone stuck to his ear and now you're frustrated. And it just unravels fast. That's tough, right? Yeah. And it's tough. And I get it. My husband traveled so much. I had these five kids on my own a lot of time, not all the time. But then I started reframing my thinking. So instead of stinky thinking, I reversed it to have an attitude of gratitude. And that just changed everything. Like, wow. And I have a chapter about that, too, actually. It's called Flight Diverted. And I had the stinky thinking because I'm like, great, I'm going to sit down. I'm going to write. It's all about me. It's my day. And I look around and the floor's filthy, the beds aren't made, you know, their dishes. And I'm like, you know, I'm like, there it goes again. The maid has to do all this. And then I plugged in some music. I washed that like gospel music and it just stained my thinking and my attitude. And I just burst into tears. I'm like, wow. I am so grateful I have a husband. I'm so grateful I have somewhere to live. I'm so grateful I have a washing machine and there's plumbing. I'm so grateful. And then when I kept through that list of what I was grateful for, It just changed everything up. And then on this podcast last week, it's like, come on, girls, don't you want your like your castle to be beautiful? Don't you want your men coming home to go? Oh, this is great. I'm home. I want to be home. And when you reverse it and you change some of the thinking and reframe, well, what do you want? And what can I do because you can only Control yourself, really. I mean, you like to think you can control your partner, but after all, that doesn't work. So what power have I got to give me what I want? And I talk about that Exactly. You gotta look at everything in different perspectives. I told some guys one time, I said, hey, I said, my wife is the head of my household. They looked at me like I was crazy. Because it's like, we all grew up, people telling you that the man is the head of the household, right? No, I said, she does things that allows me to go outside of that door, provide and do all the things I do. And any decision-making around the house got to do with the kids, grandkids, all that kind of stuff. She does it. I mean, she makes the decisions and because she makes good decisions. You know what I'm saying? I get in there, if I know I'm tired and I'll mess it up, oh, hey, just do it, baby, you know, I'm good with it. You know, so it's the same. You don't have to be so-called boss in the house or things like that. It's just what works. You know, it's called a help me, not a help me. Right. Right. Right. If you have the servant attitude not to be the maid servant, but to give like you think that when you were dating. Right. And here's this hot woman or gorgeous guy and you're like, wow, you know, and you, and for us, you know, we may cook beautiful meals or I don't know, whatever you did, you just gave, gave because you love them so much. And you're like, wow, this is great. You know, and you ring them and you know, you just, you give them the world. Well, then you get married and it all goes out the door. It's like, no, no, no, no. You need to keep focused on what was it. And do you want that? Do you want to keep that? We've got to keep looking at that, you know, and so it's not it's not out of a place of servanthood, but it's out of love. You do it because really, ultimately, if you want this intimacy into me, I see and intimacy, which is not a physical thing. We're not talking about sex here. We're talking about intimacy. If you want level of depth and love and appreciation and connection and being heard, This is where we need to go. And honesty, you know, we've got to be honest, honest with ourselves. I'd say to the girls, you know, come on, really? Are you really being realistic? Are you being fair with this expectation or that? You know, I mean, the poor guy doesn't even know and you're blowing him up. Like you can't read your mind, you know, these sorts of things. So, you know, we just got to do a check up from the neck up. Be honest. Go deeper now in ourselves and just be real. I think it's helpful and be careful what you listen to, who you listen to. It shapes you, right? And it can define you. If you continue doing something, I heard the other day, this was great. If you make this your routine, that's who you become. But it's not necessarily who Right. So you can check some of that out and come back to who you are and who you are. Like you said on your podcast last week, know who you are meant to be, who Yeah. That's the main thing. That's one of the main things that you got to know what you're meant to be so you can become who you are meant to be. Right. I think. Yeah. And don't be afraid. It's okay. You know, with writing my book, I was just so influenced by so many things. You know, I listened to a Black Lives Matter podcast and this young girl, she was 16 years old. And the wisdom of this young girl, I wish I knew her name, but I'm sorry, I don't. But she goes, you know, she just went to the Smithsonian with her school to the new Black Lives Historic Smithsonian. And Yes. Right. And this young girl, she was profound. She goes, you know what? Let's not ignore our past. It's part of the fabric of who we are. But let's use that to actually fuel us to go forward. I love that. And then I happened to be in France and da Vinci said exactly the same thing. But in a very poetic way. And he encourages us to go into those dark chasms of our hearts and our minds and illuminate those dark spaces. And just maybe, just maybe, if you're brave enough to go there, you'll find life and And it was like, this is good. This Yes, it's profound. Now, in your book, you also talked about shifting from surviving to thriving. For some stuck in a cycle of pain, what are the first steps that they could make to break free and begin thriving in their life? I think that's very critical with people. Absolutely. They're going through things day in and day out, and they're just, you know, just striving and striving and striving and never thriving. And that's that gives you motivation when it comes to life, when you're in that mindset. OK, right. I've got a number of tools that are pretty easy to do, really. The first thing I think, like this young girl said, first thing I believe is we need to stop. Just stop. Okay, stop everything, stop the noise, right? There's monologue going on in your head. Stop what you're listening to and what you're watching. And it could even be disassociate for a moment from those around you, the distraction, right? And stop. And then, you know, if you have faith, it's a game changer. Just It's just a game changer, right? I'd encourage you to stop and just cry out. He wants to hear from you, wants to help. He wants to show you who you are. He wants to tell you the truth. And in this basic instruction before leaving Earth, even here's the thing, you could just go on AI, chat GPT, and just put in, ask for five or 10 points of how God sees you. How does God see you? Because what I experienced and grew up with, and I'm talking to a lot of people, is we're still believing the lies, right? And that keeps us stuck. We can't turn that off. And there doesn't seem to be fuel in the tank, let's say, to move forward. And so I think to change the rhetoric Okay, think of believe. How do you spell believe? B-E capital L, capital I, B-E, big fat lie hidden in what you believe. So when you stop, you can cry out to God, you can ask for his help. I would get out a piece of paper and a pen and write down the things you believe, what you believe about yourself, what you believe about the past, whatever it is that's like really stopping you, where you're stuck, write it down and then read it out. So that way you can hear yourself. Okay, we talk to ourselves all the time, but when you hear it out loud, you go, really? Well, that's ridiculous. And you can put a line through it, right? Actually. Bing bong, that actually isn't true. And if you don't know whether it's true or not, like I say, see what God says about you. Because for me, I grew up believing the lie of who I was, you know, this kid that will never go anywhere, get anywhere, will never have an intimate family relationship or a marriage that will stick. And when you start telling yourself that you believe it, well, that's not true. So we need to establish what is true. And I did the study today. The only truth tarot cards I'm going to tell you, you know, a crystal ball is not going to tell you. An astrology astrologer isn't, you know, your horoscope, I call it a horoscope. That's horrible, right? That is not the truth and it will never be the truth. Right. Because humans don't have the capacity to fully understand the truth of of the past or even the future. But I know that God does. And he's proven over and over again from the beginning. He prophesied what would be and it happened. Right. And he's prophesying what's going to happen in the future. And it will because we've tested what he said in the past. So if you go there to identify the truth, who you are, start with there. Don't be too afraid to go into these intimate places of your heart and soul, like Da Vinci said, and shine some light in there to those painful places. And then you start to cross out what isn't true. You can affirm what is true. You can understand some of the why, but the why doesn't get you unstuck. What you need to ask next is what. That to me is the power of getting unstuck. When you ask a what question, it's like I was saying we just said before, and I've got on the back, knowing we have choices changes everything. Understanding the power of our response is key. Now, I know when you're stuck, you feel like you have no power. But I'm here to tell you, you do when you ask, what do I want? You know, that was the question Jesus asked more than anything to anybody. If you search in the Bible all the questions that people ask him, he usually replies with a question. And the biggest, the most often asked question of Jesus was back to that person. What do you want? It wasn't like he needed to know because he already knew they needed to know. So maybe you need to find out what your what is. What do you want? What steps are you prepared to take? What little baby step are you prepared to take today? What do you need to fill your mind with? Take out the garbage. But then you've got this void. So now you've got to fill it with something. Be very careful with what you're filling it with. Right. So the what. What am I going to listen to? And what do I want? Just write down some of these what questions. And I believe from my experience as well, that that actually pumps the tires because right now they're flat, aren't they? When you sit in victim, in the space of being a victim, you're not going anywhere. You're stuck. Your tires are flat. So the way to pump your tires up is start asking some That's good. I really like that. I really like that because like I said, we're joint heirs with Christ. And like I say, he always asked the question, what do you want? You know, and think about it with joint heirs. I mean, we have to work together. He already knows what he has for you. He already knows the purpose he has for you. You just got to align with it. That's right. Go with it, if you want what Sure. And it could be a good thing to have that conversation back and forth with them and say, Well, I don't know what I want. So you could say, Okay, God, what is it you want? Right? And my, my rock of my anchor, let's say, actually, my anchor in these 30 years of traveling around the globe, not even living in my home country. It's a long time. It's half my life. My anchor was that verse, Jeremiah 29, 11. For I know, says the Lord, the plans I have for you, for good, not to harm, to prosper and give hope. But then just recently I learned, I always stopped there. I don't know why I stopped there. You know, you need to read the context and maybe the verse before and the verse after. Well, then I learned the verse after. And it says, when you come to me. Hmm. When? There's your choice. So there's the promise. Have we come to him and asked him, have we bothered to have that conversation? So when he says, when you come to me, and call out and Rick Warren says, don't just call out, cry out. It's like, God, where are you? It's okay, you can handle it. Be honest, cry out. I hate this. I can't do this anymore. Anyway, good. Finally, you come to me. Yes, I'm here. So when you do, he says, I will be there and I will hear you. is that and when you Yeah, when you come with all your heart, mind and soul, when you come with everything you have, then you will see the plan he has for you. And it's really it's Ephesians 320 is an exceedingly abundantly beyond what you would ever want, wish or pray for something like that is what he can do for us when you hook into his power, his strength, his source, I mean, I'm here to tell you, it is wild and it is exceedingly abundant. I mean, do Just do it. Even if you have to walk around in a Nike hoodie all day to remind yourself, What's that first step? Come on. What is it? What Exactly. Now, Carolyn, with your book, all your proceeds from your book went towards helping orphans and widows in Uganda through FacesWithNames.org. What inspired you This is the exceedingly abundant bit, I'll tell you. When I was about 10 years old, I would get small amounts of money as gifts for my birthday. And I would go down to the bookstore, and I don't know why, I just loved Africa. And I would buy a little book, come home, and I would sketch the elephant and the giraffe. And I just had this seed planted here of this love for Africa. In my 20s, I'm now a travel agent. I'm in the Serengeti. Serengeti is the middle of Africa, right? It's in Kenya. And it's like the savanna. And I'm like, oh, there's an elephant, there's a lion. Oh my gosh, like, wow, this is like, wow. I mean, like decades on, this love that was planted here. And then at night, we had to go and collect sticks, right, for the fire at night, because we're wild camping, literally wild camping. And out of nowhere, these little faces came. And they'd be skipping with joy and their eyes and I'd be dancing and I'm like, who are you? Like, hello, where did you come from? And I realized I was in their home. I wasn't in no man's land. I was actually in their home. And growing up as an alcoholic mother, I knew what it looked like when you looked in someone's eyes and there's nothing, like it's empty. I tell you, these kids had this light beaming out of their eyes. I'm like, wow, such joy. And it just, I always remembered that. Right. And I'm just like, wow. Well, a couple of years later, I find myself back there and I actually get engaged in South Africa and I'm like, my love of Africa. Well, then decades on, I now have a daughter, she's 18, and she goes on a mission trip to help orphaned kids in Malawi. And she comes home and hear these photos of these little kids, right? And they're looking at her hands and then turning it over and going, this is weird. We look the same that way, but we look different. And then, you know, I mean, the engagement was precious. And I thought, wow, there are these faces again. And I thought, oh, I don't know, one day. Well, I told you I was a pretty bad student and I'm writing this book and I'm like, Oh, I heard I had to invest in myself and I only got past high school. So I'm like, okay, I'm going to invest myself. I'm at a writer's conference and I meet this guy, Eric. And I said, okay, Eric Black. Hi, I'm Carolyn. What are you writing about? What's the deal? And he told me about an orphan child he was getting from China. And he said, it's interesting. This love and desire for orphans has actually gone way beyond what I'd ever imagined. And I now have a foundation called Faces with Names in Africa. And we look after orphans. And here's my brochure. And he showed me this So I'm like, oh my gosh, this This is it. Because when I was there in my 20s, I just fell in love with these kids. And I thought, oh, maybe one day, I don't know how I'm going to help you. But yeah, bye. Lovely to meet you. I just set it aside. But God knew. He knew. And he joined me up with Eric Mills. And Eric said to me, sometimes you just got to join the dots. And then five minutes later, he showed me this brochure. And I'm like, oh my gosh, you just joined my dots. And I just knew. I'm like, right. That's awesome. I really love that. You're so amazing. But you know what? God just gives you a glimpse. of what your purpose and your destiny is before you actually accomplish it because you saw a glimpse of it in your early 20s. Yeah I had no idea. Yeah right then Yeah and you know what I love more than anything is God's heart is so big I think there's some children's song that we used to sing, you know, he's got the whole world in his hand, you know, and I just see over and over and over from Genesis and I'm now studying Revelation. It's the same message, the message of love. I heard this word today that the Holy Spirit will guide you to the God of Paradise. And it got me thinking, paradise. Well, in paradise, you don't want or you don't need anything, right? It's all there. It's all given. It's all sufficient. It's all you need. That is who God is. And this is what he longs for us. He longs for us to be back in paradise. The Garden of Eden, where he walked with Adam and Eve. They had this beautiful relationship. They had everything they needed. And this is God's heart. And then when we broke it through, guess what? Choice. Hello. We did. We were deceived, but we still had a choice to make. And then it all went tumbling down from there. But right back in the beginning of Genesis, God still had the plan. He said, I'm going to send a redeemer. out of the woman and it's going to crush the head of the serpent. And this is what I mean. God's word is true, right? Because then thousands of years later, Jesus came through the woman and he crushed the head of Satan because guess So I just I love it all. It's so empowering. You want to know how And it's something every day that we have that's so We might not make all the right decisions all the time. do things with his grace, somehow we still can't mess No, no. And we know exactly right. He loves us even so like he knows everything we're going to do. He knows everything we've done. And OK, so here's the thing. Religion is man made and it's about climbing this ladder to be good enough. God, on the other hand, sent himself down as man and he did it all. because of his great love for us. We don't have to do anything except make the choice to Yes, yes, well put, well put. So lastly, Carolyn, what advice would you give someone who feels overwhelmed Well, I guess that's just what I've spoken about already, right? intimacy into me, I see. If you can sit just ever so quietly and ever so honestly and call out and ask God for his help, his direction. You know, he said the man plans his way, but he will direct our path, our steps. And my life is an example of that. And it's just the surrender of ourselves all the time. We think we know. We think we can do it on our own. Right. And then we crash and burn. And he goes, Yeah, I'm still here. If you feel alone, he hasn't gone anywhere. You've just wandered off. Come back. Just come on back. Just come on back and just be still and know that I am God. And then every day make a choice, make a choice that when you get up the first thing in the morning. You have this attitude of gratitude and you say, Heavenly Father, my Abba Daddy. How precious is that? You know, the first words a baby says, Abba, Abba Dada, Dada. You know, I just this is who God is. This character is so gentle and so precious and yet so powerful. And I would suggest that what you need to do is every day start your day right. In connection with your Abba, with your Abba Dada and start with thanking him for the bed, for the plumbing, you've just been to the bathroom or you've gone and got some water or my clothes or I mean, just write a list and start with gratitude. And then I use this every day. You find what you need. But I love this Jesus calling. It's in the first sense. Is that what you say? First sense. Yeah. So it's like Jesus is talking to you. Okay, here we go. I am your strength and shield. Okay. I plan each day out. And I have it ready for you long before you arise from bed. I mean, how crazy I turned to that page. And so get in a rhythm of listening to him first, not your phone, not the news, you know, be still and know he is God. Start with gratitude, start conversing with him. Ask him. And if you get into this rhythm and then you just keep doing this all day long, because I tell you what, sometimes by morning tea, the wheels have kind of fallen off or they're about to. And you say, OK, oh, just help me. I just need some direction or strength or encouragement. And you keep asking. I tell you what, he's your daddy. He's going to be more than happy to help. Right. That's what Yeah. So get in relationship. with the one that will provide and knows already and has a plan and it is good, but you won't know it unless you come and ask. So be intentional with that. And even it says here, enjoying peace in his presence, peace in the turbulence, in his perspective, it's Gotta have peace. You gotta know that he's still working it out no matter what's what. My uncle said one time before, he was a pastor, and he told somebody, he said, hey, you're going through the situation right now. He said, what you need to do is be at peace, go to bed, and go to sleep. He said, it's no need of you and God both being up all night. He said, he's going to work it out. You Isn't that wonderful? I better remember that. Actually. Okay. So just real quick. We're relocating back to Australia, and I have a hundred pound dog. I have a big Denise Mountain dog, and I have just been sitting in the waiting room. That is the hardest place to be, I think, when you have to wait. And the Lord just kept telling me that piece I give you. I'm working it out. In my time, it'll happen. And just before we came on, I have been waiting for almost two months now for one, what's that word? Anyway, it's a document that's had the USDA authorized it. And I've been waiting on that. one last piece of paper before I could apply for my dog's permit. And we're going in December and it's like, it's nearly October, people. I have to jump through these hoops. And the Lord said, yeah, do you trust me or not? Are you going to sit in the piece of my timing? Because no amount of worry is going to get that piece of paper to you any faster. Now give it to me and sit in peace. And Awesome. It's like a good athlete, right? You just have to keep going, get out of bed, put your shoes on or armor up actually. God's armor because you're going to be under attack. I can assure you of that. But when we get into this rhythm and this routine, It gets better and better. You get fitter, you get stronger. Your faith muscle grows as you surrender. And then you see what he does and you go, oh, I can trust you. I mean, I can't trust someone I don't know. But as you get to know who he is, he is Absolutely, absolutely. So, Carola, how can people purchase your Sure. So Amazon. So you can type in my name, even just do a Google search, Carolyn Deck, D-E-C-K. And it comes up with podcasts, but you could say Carolyn Deck author, if you don't recall the name. But I think in the show notes, there's a link, I believe to that. There'll be a link to faces with names. So knowing that your choice to help yourself, God has such a bigger vision and he wants you to then not just grow you, but you know, a bigger view for other people as well. And so these kids in Uganda, you'll be supporting them. You can find me on Facebook, Carolyn Deck, or Instagram, carolyn.deck. Okay, well, there you have it, everybody. Carolyn Deck. Carolyn, this has been an amazing experience today. It's been an experience for me. And I really appreciate you taking the time out of your schedule to stop by and speak real truth And you too, to me, you know. I love doing this. I love people. I love to get people unstuck. Please reach out. You know, if you want some more help or you want to have this conversation, keep going. We're better together. So, yeah, please reach out and let's keep talking. I love it. This is great. So thank you. Thank You're so welcome. Absolutely. Thank you for tuning in to Real Talk with Reginald D. If you enjoy listening to Real Talk with Reginald D, Please rate and review us on Apple