Achieving Dreams/Goals: A Conversation With Tony Alestock - His Journey Of Service And Sacrifice (Motivational Speech)

In this episode Reginald D welcomes Tony Alestock, a Marine veteran and a retired state police homicide detective, who is currently working as a detective at an international airport in Florida. They discuss Tony's journey to achieving his dreams and goals in life, highlighting the importance of family and the struggles growing up. Tony also shares his experience in the Marine Corps and how it shaped him into the person he is today. Tune in to hear Tony's inspiring story of family, sacrifice, perseverance and success. 

Transcript

Welcome to real talk. I'm your host. On today's podcast, I have a phenomenal brother. His name is Tony Alestock.  He's a Marine veteran, a retired state police homicide detective. And currently a detective at an international airport in Florida. What's going on, Tony? Welcome to the show. Hey, man. Thanks for having me. I appreciate it. I appreciate you taking the time out of your busy schedule to hang out with me for a minute. Yes, sir. I always want to get people on the show from my listeners that work their way to their dreams and their goals in life. And I think that's what it's all about. And I think you're a prime example of that. Well, thank you, man. So Tony, tell us, what was your life like growing up? 

I had a great childhood. We didn't have a lot of money. But it was the love within the family that kept us together. I grew up in a great neighborhood where we had so many friends. To this day, 50 plus years later, we're still friends with majority of these people. The middle of five, I have two older sisters, a younger sister, and then the youngest is my brother. I honestly can say I had a great upbringing. 

Seems like you're a lot like me. The home was probably about as good as it can get, but still had the struggles of growing up poor and stuff like that. But I think that's what makes you appreciate life and appreciate things more. That's right. Those times and those struggles. That's right. So you grew up, then you decided to join the Marine Corps. What was that experience like? 

Man, it was tough. I was 18 years old, my first time on a plane flying from Boston to South Carolina. Bootcamp was three months long. It was tough. It wasn't easy, but I was in great tip-top shape, well-prepared for it. While you're in the service, you have your good days, your bad days. Some of those bad days, you just don't want to be there. But I'll tell you right now, if it wasn't for the Marine Corps, I wouldn't be where I am today. And I have a large group of brother Marines, brothers and sister Marines, that are a big part of my life to this day. 

Yeah, the Marine Corps, I can relate. Something different. Especially when you got to take that ship to Parris Island down in Beaufort, South Carolina. That's right. That's right. All that heat and sand fleas and everything else. So you get out of the Marine Corps. Then you decided to become a police officer. What motivated you to become a police officer? 

Well, that all started at a young age. When I was eight or nine years of age, I saw a couple of commercials of the Marine Corps that drew my attention. That was one of the main reasons why I joined the military. And growing up as a kid, there was a police officer in the city where I lived, and he took a liking to me. I remember walking to school, six years old, walking to school with my mom. And back then, police officers were the crossing guards. And every morning and every afternoon, We take that walk to and from school, and that police officer was always there. And we became buddies, and I just looked up to him, especially the uniform that he was wearing. And as I got older, I just wanted to help people. And that was one way of me doing so by becoming a police officer. 

Yeah, it takes a special person to be a police officer. I'll tell you that. 

It really does. It really does. 

So then you went from being a police officer to a homicide detective, correct? Yes. What was that like? What kind of reward were you getting out of being a homicide detective? 

Well, I joined the Massachusetts State Police in 1996, worked my way up. I spent 15 years on the road as a road trooper. I was at the academy as a drill instructor, teaching the new trainees. Then I decided to seek becoming a homicide detective. So the last 10 years of my career with the state police, I worked homicides. Well, not only just homicides, there's any type of death investigations, fatal shootings, non-fatal shootings, fatal traffic crashes. And to this day, I can remember the very first homicide that I worked. That initial phone call at 3, 3.50 in the morning advised me as far as what transpired, that we had a fatal shooting. One thing that, as far as work and homicides, is dealing with the victim's families. And I would always put myself in their shoes. And that gave me the motivation to work my cases as hard as I did. To this day, I do have a great relationship with this one particular family whose loved one was killed. And we keep in touch all the time. 

That's great. Man, you got me kind of choked up on that one. I can only imagine you going out there and doing your thing as a homicide detective and you looking at the families and talking with the families and you looking at the brokenness, the heartbreaks and all that stuff they're going through and you putting it on your shoulders to solve this thing for them and give them closure and things like that, man. That's awesome. So when you were a state police officer, then homicide detective, you also worked, I mean, live like a couple hours of sleep a night doing details for years. 

Many, many years of that. 

That is crazy to me. I don't even think the human body should even be able to react to something like that, right? That's right. Tony, where did you get your drive from to just be relentless and grind like that? 

I got that from my mother, believe it or not. I definitely got that drive from my mom. My mom was a hard worker, I remember growing up, she was working two or three jobs, come home, make sure there's dinner on the table, then right back out the door, back to work. So I definitely got my drive from my mom. 

She is a remarkable woman to do all of that. That she is. So you got all this drive and what was your goal in life? You're getting up, you're grinding every day, you're doing what you got to do to make it happen. What was your main goal? 

Just to be the best person I possibly could for my family. I just wanted them to have much more than what I had as a child. So that was a motivation I need. And that's what kept me working as much as I did, just to provide for my family. 

So let's talk about your family. Tell me a little bit about your family. 

Well, we're from Washington, DC. We moved to Massachusetts when I was five years old. Went to a school system in Massachusetts, graduated high school. Went on, as you know, went on to the military. My dad was a great father. He taught me everything that a father needed to teach their sons, sports, mechanics, as far as fixing cars and stuff like that. And my mother, as I said, my mother, she was the disciplinarian one in the household. Actually, you know, there are times that I needed that. And if it wasn't for that, I would not be where I am today. You know? My siblings, to this day, we're all close. Even though we live in different states, we still communicate on a regular basis. Even cousins, aunts, uncles, especially out in DC, Maryland area, we're a tight, tight-knit family. And that's where I get that drive from, as far as the family love, the family dynamics, that'll keep you going. 

Yeah, it really does. I think I can say that's probably the main thing that really drives me every day when I look at family. And knowing that I got to actually, I just feel like I have a responsibility to be able to take care of my immediate family. See some of my other younger cousins or whatever. you know, see how I work things through life so they can have some type of example to see at the end of the day. So you married, you have kids. Tell me a little bit about that. 

I'm married. Yes, I am married. I've been together for... I better get this right. It'll be 19 years this year. I have three girls. My oldest lives in North Carolina. She'll be 29 this year. My middle one, she'll be 24 next month. She lives in New York City. And my baby, she's 13. She's here in Florida with us. 

So all these girls, man, you don't have a weak spot. Because I tell you, on my side of the world, these girls make me weak, man, sometimes. 

They do. They do. They really do. Plus, I have stepdaughters, too. So I've raised nothing but girls, man. 

Yeah, I guess it's necessary. It is. Yeah, have a strong father in their life. That's awesome. So what's the most important thing in your life? 

Family. It's got to be family, man. Without family, you got nothing. You got nothing at all, man. You can have all the money in your pockets that you need, but without family, a good support system, you got nothing. 

You're right about that. You're definitely right about that. Family is over everything at the end of the day. I mean, they can get on your darn nerves sometimes, but man, I'll tell you what, you can't do without them. That's right. You can't do without them. You still love them and you have an obligation to be there. And like I say, If anybody's going to love you for real, it's going to be your family. That's right. That's right. It's going to be your family. So let's talk about you having this dream of retiring and moving to Florida. How did that come about? 

Well, my wife and I, when we first started dating, we would go on vacation to Florida because I had one of my Marine Corps brothers who lived in Florida that we used to go visit. And he lives on the East Coast. So we would go there and visit him. And someone had told me about Southwest Florida. They said, once you go to Southwest Florida, you'll never go back to the East Coast. So we started vacation on the East Coast for about 16 years. And we knew once I retired that we were moving to Florida and everything worked out. We're very happy the way everything worked out. I retired in June of 2021. We moved here in July of 2021. And then I went back to work in August of 2021. So my retirement was a very short break. But when I went back to work, I was a part-time police officer down here. And I worked part-time for about five months with this agency that I'm currently employed with. And honestly, I got bored, man. I had to go back to work. So they asked me if I wanted to go back to work. I went back full-time. I worked full-time as a patrolman for about a year. And then a position opened up for an investigator, and I applied for that position, and I got selected. So I've been in the detective unit for a year now. 

Wow. Now you retire in Florida, then go back to work. 

That wasn't the plan. Part-time was the plan, but not full-time. But I enjoy it. I really love my job. And I'm 59 years of age and I'm just not ready to hang it up yet, man. I play golf. I get my quality time on the golf course. I ride my Harley. I got a boat. So I'm enjoying life, even though I'm working full-time again. 

At least you're doing it on your own terms, man. That's what it's all about. That's right. That's what it's all about. Because, like I say, once someone has that grind instilled in them, it's kind of hard to take it away. You know, it's not normal getting up and not doing anything. 

That's right. I've been working since I was eight or nine years old, paper rope, you know, delivering newspapers. 

I'll back up on something. I'll try to break it down. We'll go back to your grind. You're working a full-time job as a state police officer, homicide detective. You're doing details like relentless hours, basically living off a couple hours of sleep a night. And you did it for like years. And during this time, in your mind, you said that you are going to retire and move to Florida. Yes, sir. And you worked the process for all of these years retired and by way at a early age, and then you patch your family up and then you went to Florida, which was your dream. That's right. That is amazing, man. That's why I look up to you so much, man. That's what it's all about. I try to tell people, but it has to start with one thing, and that's the grind. If you ain't got the grind, you ain't gonna get nothing else. 

That's right. I appreciate that, man. That's right. That's exactly true. 

Yeah, because I think a lot of times, especially young men, need men like you or need to hear your story to get them to really understand that the way they go about life sometime with some young men go about life sometime. is they make it too complicated. You set the goal, you stick to the goal, you wrote the process it's going to take to get to the goal. That's all you got to do. You ain't got to be waving doing this or doing that or anything like that. You just got to stick to the process when you're trying to achieve your goal. And a lot of people, you can't say, hey, I have an amazing father or a great father. A lot of them can't say that. I talked to a lot of people that the father neglected them or whatever the case may be. But with you, man, you was a great father, you and your kids' life and things like that. And I'm pretty sure you've been in some of your nieces and nephews' life, too. 

Oh, yeah. It's important. I mean, like I said, family is important. When my two oldest daughters, when their mom and I divorced and the last thing I ever wanted to do, I never even thought about it. was turn my back on my kids. What happened between my marriage was between my ex-wife and I, and it had nothing to do with my kids. And I had to be there for my girls, because you see some of these fathers out there that turn their backs on their kids. And I paid child support for many, many years. I was paying $2,200 a month for child support. And the only way I could survive was to get out there and work so many hours a week in order to provide for myself or even for my current wife and my daughter. So in order for me to spend more time with my kids while I was divorced from their mother and just going through the court system for that process, I asked the judge for more time with my kids and she denied me that. And. I had my kids every Monday and Wednesday from 5 p.m. to 9 p.m. than every other weekend. And I wanted much more time to spend with my kids. And I even asked the judge if I could have my girls overnight so I could drop them off at school and play that parent role in the morning or even pick them up after school. And believe it or not, the judge denied that. So the only way I could spend quality time, much more time with my kids, I should say, I started coaching their sports. They both played soccer and softball at a young age, and those two sports were two sports that I was really good at that I played also as a child and as an adult. And I coached their sports for about 13 years. And once I started playing in high school, I had to make sure I was there for their games as well. So for me, it was a big part of me to be in their lives. And to this day, I mean, my kids are awesome. They're responsible adults. They have a great head on their shoulders. They're just great human beings. And the same thing with my nieces and nephew, you know, their mother and father divorced when they were at a young age. And I had to step up and take care of them as well, because their father wasn't really playing that role that he should have been playing. And to this day, I'm very close with my nieces and nephew, which are my sister's children. They're all adults now, but we still have a great relationship. 

That is an awesome story. Man, $2,200. $2,200 a month, bro. 

Bro, I can't even fathom that. Yeah, it was crazy, man. I couldn't believe it, man. 

Yeah, but the thing about it, man, you kept yourself above water. You kept your current marriage above water. It took a lot of sacrifice because you had to work all those hours. It really did. To recoup some of that money you were kicking out. So you moved to Florida. What is one of your, and I think I noticed that you mentioned it earlier, what is one of your biggest hobbies? 

Golf and boating. Yeah. That works in Florida. Yeah. Yeah. I was just on the golf course yesterday. Oh, were you? Yep. Yesterday morning. So when did you start taking up golf? To be honest with you, I never liked golf. I thought it was very boring to watch on TV. And about a year before I retired, one of my best friends growing up, he's an avid golfer. He was always playing golf. And about a year before I retired, I went up to him and said, Hey, can you teach me how to play golf? I need some type of hobby when I'm retiring. So he taught me how to play. That was in 2020. And I've been playing ever since. 

It's a very relaxing place for a man that's on the golf course. That's right. It's very relaxing. So your parents are deceased? They're both deceased. So in talking with you, it feels as if you have picked up the role of like the head of the family. 

Yeah, you could say that. You could say that, especially when I was taking care of my mom the final years of her life. 

Yeah, that's awesome, man. So what would you say to someone that is trying to pursue their dreams? 

Stay focused. Education is key. That's the only way you're going to survive in this world. You got to be educated. Determination. There's something there that you see that you want. Go after it. Set those goals and go after it. There's going to be many doors that are going to be closed in your face, but just be patient. Those doors will open eventually. And that's what happened to me. When I got out of the Marine Corps in 1986, That's when I started pursuing law enforcement and taking so many written exams just to get in and failing those exams was pretty, uh, it was pretty crushing because I knew I wanted to be a police officer and I knew I would be a good police officer, but I had too many of those doors that were being closed in my face and I just kept going after my dream. And I went back to school. I eventually got my bachelor's degree in criminal justice, just determination. Don't give up. Just go after it. It'll be there. It may take some time, but don't give up. 

Let me ask you this. Looking back over your life, do you have any regrets? 

I have none. None. As hard as certain things were in life, I don't have any regrets at all, man. I mean, my family just kept me grounded. And just all the love that was provided to me from my family, I have no regrets at all. 

Yeah, I feel the same way. I look back over my life and I think my biggest inspiration was my grandfather. He basically raised me, you know, because I came from a single parent home. My mom and dad didn't reunite until I was like 29, 30 years old and they got married. But my grandfather was the male figure in my life. And he taught me about everything I know right now, you know. the hard work, where it's going to take to make it, and things like that in life. He kept me grounded, even though you come in teenage years and things like that. He was a remarkable man in my life, man. I don't have any regrets. He was married to my grandmother for, I think, like 60 years, and she passed away And he was kind of all alone dealing with heartbreak and all that kind of stuff. And I was by his side through the whole process. He ended up living about a couple more years later. He passed away, but most people die right after somebody else has passed away. They pass away, you know. He lived probably two or three more years after that because they was building a church down the street. So he was like the overseer of the church and guess what kept going. But I look back on my life, man, I didn't have any regrets the way I took care of him when he was going downhill. When he died, I was like, hey, you've done a great work in life, and it's time for you to go see your wife now. And I look back, and you probably do the same. I look back and reflect sometimes over those times with him. When I get into tough situations, I got to think myself through. I'd be like, hey, man, what would he say? How would he go about this? Something would pop up in my mind, like, hey, do it this way, and things like that. Those reminders of how he taught me, it always still, to this day, pays off in my life and stuff like that. And you probably the same way. Who was your role model? 

I had so many. As I mentioned earlier, that police officer that at such a young age, he impacted my life. My grandfather as well. He was one of my paternal grandfathers. He was one of my role models. He was a hard worker too. He drove a tractor trailer for Safeway in the DC, Maryland area for 40 plus years. And he had nine children of his own. He was hardly ever home cause he was always working, trying to provide for his family. So I would say my grandfather as well, he was definitely a positive role model in my life. And my mom, she was a mom and she was the dad in the family. You know, she kept us grounded. She didn't hesitate to crack me upside my head when needed. But my dad suffered with his inner demons, but my mom kept us all together. And I thank her for that. 

Yeah, that's special. And you look at women today and you see all the effort they put into the families and things like that. It's amazing what they pour into their families and all the hard work, especially, you know, you got like single parents out here, man, just working three jobs and trying to go to school and take care of the kid. You know, kudos to any woman that's holding the family together. Because I remember my mom, me and my little sister, and she worked three jobs, went to school, played for like seven choirs in the church. Crazy, man. We were still poor, you know, stuff like that, man. I had to sign a waiver at Burger King so I could go work at 13 years old on the fry station just to help pay bills and stuff like that in the house. So, yeah, my mom was remarkable. She kept everything together and she kept us grounded too. Well, Tony, man, it's been real, man. I'm glad you stopped by to hang out with me for a minute. I'm telling you, man, your story, I had to get you on here because you are, to me, the perfect example of a real leader and a real man. 

Oh, thanks. I appreciate that, man. 

Thank you for tuning in with Real Talk with Reginald D. If you enjoyed the show, please share with anyone you feel that needs to take the journey with us on being a better you. See you next time.