Welcome to Real Talk with Reginald D. I'm your host, Reginald D. On today's episode, I have a special guest, Michelle Steiner. Michelle is a disability writer, advocate, and also a paraeducator. Michelle was also born with a hidden disability. Welcome to the show, Michelle.
Oh, thank you so much for having me, Reginald. I appreciate that.
Likewise. So Michelle, tell us a little about yourself.
Well, my name is Michelle Steiner. I live in Pennsylvania with my husband, Ron, and our two cats, Jack and Sparrow. I am a disability writer and photographer and speaker, and I have my blog called Michelle's Mission. And I work at a school with students with disabilities as a paraeducator.
So Michelle, you have a math learning disability, visual perception, and a hand dexterity. Can you explain exactly what those disabilities are?
Sure. My math disability is called dyscalculia or dyscalculia, depending on how you pronounce it. And it's a math-based learning disability. I don't read numbers backwards, but I have difficulty with figuring out how numbers work. I have trouble with memorizing the steps of a problem, memorizing multiplication, addition, and subtraction facts. I have a really hard time with reading. I cannot read an analog clock. and I confuse my right from my left, and it's difficult for me to just be able to do anything that really is math related. And I also have directional concepts such as north, south, east, and west is tough. With the visual perception, that is in my brain, not in my eyes. So I will often, I can remember gym class was really difficult for me, just trying to coordinate my body. Also with driving, I'm not able to drive because of that. And my limited hand dexterity, I wasn't diagnosed until I was an adult, but that affects my fine motor skills. So unlocking doors can be difficult for me. Using a manual can opener is really hard, so I have an electric one. And sometimes objects will just fall out of my hands. And my handwriting is not great either. And what I find is amazing is all three of these sometimes work together and create difficulty, and they all come from the same source, which is a learning disability.
Well, I'll tell you something, my handwriting's not good either, so. There we go. Michelle, can you tell us about growing up with those hidden disabilities? How did it affect you in school?
Well, I was very lucky. I was diagnosed when I was in kindergarten. I was my parents' first child, so they didn't have a lot to face what development was. And when I got into school, my teacher noticed right away that I was struggling academically, and I was also struggling socially. But academics was the first thing. It was really hard for me to tie my shoes. I struggled with math and dot-to-dot pages. So my teacher recommended that I get tested for a learning disability. And sure enough, I had one and they knew I wasn't going to be a mathematician at that age. But when they diagnosed learning disabilities, it was more of an umbrella term. It wasn't until I was an adult that they started calling it a math disability and with the hand dexterity. And school was a real struggle for me socially and academically. Socially, I went to a very small conservative school district. They liked people that were like them. And if you weren't one of them, you didn't fit in. And my disability made me stand out. And everybody knew that I went to learning support for having the test read aloud to me when I was in regular ed classes. They knew that I went to math to receive the help and services for learning support. And that was difficult. I couldn't just blend in. And my learning support peers, a lot of them struggled with reading. And some of them came from some really rough family backgrounds, and they had trauma and behavior issues. So I really didn't fit in with them. And it got a lot harder for me socially with school because peer groups became more defined as I went through school. but academically it got easier for me. I was in all regular reg classes except for math and a resource room. I was on honor roll. I was doing well with my classes and that got a lot easier, but the social part got more difficult.
As amazing as you are, how did you overcome all of that?
Well, I have great parents that did not give up on me. And they always supported me. I didn't have to get perfect grades, but I did have to try. And we spent a lot of tearful homework sessions together, just sometimes trying to get information so I could pass a test. And sometimes they had to send me to school knowing that I was going to take a test that day and I wasn't going to do well, but I had to go through that. Sometimes they sent me to school when they knew that I wasn't getting along with the peer, but they wanted me to learn how to be strong and independent and relying on myself. That was a big thing for them. So I couldn't have made it without my parents. I've also have wonderful friends that I did end up meeting as a teenager. in a writing group that we still meet once a month and each other's lives 20 some years later. So that has helped. Advocating for myself and using accommodations. When I'm in school, having extended test time helped. Taking information and breaking it apart into small chunks rather than cramming. All night was a really good strategy if I had a test. Tutoring when I needed it and finding the right program. If I was going to do a program that involved a lot of math and science, I knew I was going to really struggle. And in my life now, some of the things that I do is I have an electric can opener as opposed to a manual one. That helps. Using my phone to figure out how much to give a tip to somebody when I'm at a restaurant, that's another tool that I use. I also will speak up for myself at my job. All the kids know, and some are slowly finding out, do not ask me to help you with math. I'm not able to do that. And I speak up that I don't want to be placed in math classes and the reason why. And that generally works out well because I can help out with reading and English. I also live in a central location, which is helpful with not being able to drive. And I have a wonderful husband who takes me to work in the morning or wherever else I need to go. And a sweet coworker that gives me a ride home at the end of the day. And I live in a location where I can also walk to places that I need to go. So everything is just about advocating for myself and finding a different way to do things that are hard for me.
So what signs can parents look for as it relates to a learning disability so they can look into having their child tested?
I think sometimes it can be, how is your child learning? Are they able to pick up on shapes and colors? I can remember when I taught preschool, I had a student that did not know his colors or didn't know his shapes. And later in the school years, I did get to see him and he, sure enough, had a learning disability. Sometimes being able to follow directions, with different steps. That can be difficult sometimes for a child that has that. How are they doing with dot-to-dot pages? Are they able to write their name? Are they able to tie their shoes? Things like just their cognitive development, counting, some of the pre-reading. I mean, most children don't go into kindergarten as a fluent reader, but are they picking up on letters, letter recognition, number recognition? That can be some things that come and also their language. If you give them simple words, how are they pronouncing their words? How are they responding back to you when you read a story to them and ask them questions? And I think it's really important that if a parent does have any questions to reach out to professionals. I know we have a lot of early intervention specialists that do birth to three services for free, and help them get into special preschools if they need that, or even go to a regular preschool and still have services provided. And it's talking with your child's pediatrician, it's talking with their preschool teacher, and just seeing if they're on target for where they're at.
Can you tell us about your blog?
Sure, I'd be happy to. On my blog, Michelle's Mission, I write about life with a learning disability. I use simple metaphors with nature to talk about just various parts of having one. And I also use my love of photography. Because I can't drive, I'm able to pick up on details that other people might miss. I'll be in the car with my husband, I'll be like, did you see that? And he'll be like, no, I'm focusing on the road. Now he's getting a little bit better at this because he watches. But I'm able to pick up on that, and sometimes we can pull over and take a picture. Other times, we may not be able to do that. But if there's something that I notice in my neighborhood, or something that's local, and I don't have a ride, I can take a walk there and take a picture of a flower. And if I was sitting in the car, that is something that I would miss. And I also have my artwork that is for sale on my website. I have journals and prints and other items that is available. And I even have a forum for people with disabilities that they can connect and talk with each other. We do theme questions once a month.
I love it. Now I would like to talk to you about your flower prints that you sell in your blog. What do the flowers symbolize to you?
The flowers symbolize to me beauty and also hope because sometimes if I'm really sad or something's on my mind or I think, oh I wish that I had a ride somewhere that I'm walking, I get that chance to see that beautiful flower and just somebody says, now see if you would have been driving or would have had a ride, you wouldn't have had that chance to capture that shot. And it also gives me that hope when I see a flower that things are going to get better and the flower blooms and so do a lot of opportunities in my life.
So once you plant that seed, then it blooms. The other thing I love is that you have a quote that says, stop discriminating just because you cannot see it. Can you explain the meaning of that quote to me, Michelle?
Yes. When I tell people I have a learning disability, sometimes they tell me I don't look like I'm disabled. And they're looking for the cane or they're looking for the walker or the wheelchair. And I have to explain to them that not every disability is something that you can see. And a lot of times we go for what visible ones are, and people often don't believe me. Or they might look at me and say, oh, especially if they know me, well, you have a bachelor's degree, or you answer that question right, so you couldn't have a disability. And that is true. I've had success, but I do have a disability. People just can't see it.
Right. I guess that's why I'm saying disability.
Yeah, exactly.
So what ideas can you give my audience for those who have a hidden disability or their children? What can they do to get help or what can help them through these kind of things?
If your child seems like they might have a disability, reaching out to the school is a good way to do that and talking with the teacher and seeing about getting them evaluated. There's also private things that you can do outside of the school for families and services that are available. For adults, if you're in the United States, Office for Vocational Rehabilitation, if you give them a call, they can schedule a time where you can meet and get the testing done, and they pay for all the testing and the services. And if you have a disability, then they can help you with funding to go to college or trade school, and they can help out with job assistance. I didn't have much luck with job assistance, but I was able to graduate debt-free. And I think it's also reaching out to peers that have disabilities. Sometimes that can be helpful, too, after you get a diagnosis, or you might be struggling with something with that. Sometimes it can be helpful to talk to somebody that has one.
You're definitely an inspiration. Because people that have disabilities, I feel they sometimes struggle with being accepted, but they're no less than somebody who doesn't have one. They all have gifts, and they have talents like everybody else. And you just got to learn how to maneuver through it and believe in yourself at the end of the day. And know that you're way stronger than most when it's all said and done. The power comes from within.
Exactly.
Michelle, how can my audience join your blog, buy your photos, and follow your journey?
You can find me at michellesmission.net. And I'm also on Facebook and Instagram as well.
I really appreciate you stopping by and spending some time with me. I'm really honored to have you on the show and I'm really inspired by the things you've been through, the things you've overcome. I feel like your journey and your story is going to help a lot of people. I feel like that's what you get up for every day.